Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
