I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Farmville is her only friend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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