I wish I could teleport
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is my gift to your gina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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