Me too!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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