I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
