walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
