We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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