we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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