you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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