He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
