He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
