Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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