i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
