No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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