I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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