I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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