...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
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