Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
