I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
