no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
