There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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