What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
