I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
