The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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