I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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