my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
