HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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