wrigley field is MILF paradise
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
