I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
