i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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