Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
