she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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