I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
