Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
