either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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