I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
