I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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