He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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