Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
