I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
