So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
