just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
