At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
