what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
