i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
