Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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