I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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