He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
