This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
