We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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