You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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