Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
